beautiful glittering

all the stars in the sky are mine and they glitter and shine, even when hidden behind smog. i've got dreams and plans and destinies... and i see things you don't know i see. when i wake up in the middle of the night, my body contorted like a scissor fight and i grasp at the air with empty hands... i know in my heart what i'm looking for. and nothing can be clearly explained. i don't want that. i discard logic. i discard even truth. because i'm looking for something better. something i can wrap my arms around and sink my teeth into. maybe there's no time for anything anymore, i can only write endless love letter to myself. demanding second chances. demanding beautiful photography. maybe one day i'll have my true debut, where my body can shine with all her markings, like all the beautiful stars in the sky. maybe i'll be reborn, wriggling in confusion, gulping air into these sweet lungs and looking for you. wait. wait. go. gogogo. hold on only to the sparks, everything else is too heavy to carry.

2006-08-10