let flames consume it

packing up all my shit into boxes
i feel an equal desire to keep everything
and to burn everything

this girl i was, so misguided
why waste breath on that
which does not serve you?
i see the path that i was meant to follow
and it is a selfish one

all the hurried words
of years of poetry
dripping into my skull
from the folded pages of put away things
and inside i see repeated patterns
i see lessons so obviously learned now
i want to grab that girl and shake her
say fuck the world, you gotta save
yourself

and there is no inside
to the outside
no calm opening of space
that will allow me to both forget
and remember everything
oh, how i grabbed and pulled and pushed
saved a few tattered remains
of all the girls i've been
but now it just bores me

i'll take what i'll take
but in a way
i've already thrown it all away

2006-07-18