obliteration

beauty
like sweet decay
or my rusting, flaking flesh
like flecks of metal
erroded and released from the whole

i stare straight into the oblivion
of my life
trying not to flinch
or show any fear

i say to myself and i know
i'll get through this
like i got through everything
i'll get through this

contentment can be captivity
the sweet destruction of happiness
obliterate it
i like the taste of poison
on my lips
that's what makes me an alcoholic
and when you offer me everything
i'll take it
i only hope you remember
that i want more than i ask for
and i want more than this

oh the adventure
of everything falling apart
addicted to chaos of course
but can't we simulate this please?
tie me down and tell me you love me
take the stars from the sky
in some dramatic gesture
let them dangle in my hair
like bits of flesh or snowflakes
and leave the whole world in darkness
illuminating only you and i

won't you take me out?
take me out on the towm?
let me dazzle like the star i am
don't try to hold my fire as your own
it's okay to worry baby but know
you are my home
i am your own

and you and me baby
you and me

i watch the wine dilute the moment
i do all the right things
or enough of them i hope
to get the job done
i go on and on about practibility
but what i really want
is transcendance

oh yes
the daring
the absolute daring
of losing
can you imagine the fall
the backbreaking sorrow
of losing it all
perhaps it is my familiarity
with such circumstances
that has caused this affliction
this addiction
to the rough edge
the real deal
the part where my knees buckle
my eyes roll back
for real

all the sweet deaths i'll die
in this lifetime alone
and you've shown me hope
no longer does death terrify me so
because with your logic
and most of all your faith
you showed me the obvious
that believing makes it real

and i believe now
in everything i want
i believe in the possibilities
which linger on my tongue
won't you take me to the moon
around to the other side?
won't you obliterate me please?
give me the shattering
that is intensity

2006-07-18