pouring out unneccessary words

i sit sucking on unsaid things
filling up on all the details
of this wasted time
sunlight threatens to shatter
the humidity and lack of leaves
moments drawn out across months
still no one here to leave me

i'll indluge in stupidity
love a boy who isn't here
instead of practising my guitar
you know, i'll put all my effort
into something i don't care about
cuz why?
i'd like to say that i don't have the time
but that's a fuckin lie

all my heroes are hypocrites
and so am i

i can dress to the nines
in ambition
but i'm losing myself to superstition
not sure what i'm trying to do
or where i'm going
it's just that words fit so lose
they tumble and fall
for no reason at all
and i feel suffocated by them

what words could i possibly use?
i like the simplicity
of not saying anything
or saying very little
letting the surrounding sounds
speak for themselves

cuz i can't be myself
or anybody else
i just stand here
hoping for the glass to crack
hoping to find the dedication
i need in order to succeed

2006-04-01